Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
