their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Randomize
