Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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