He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
