shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize