someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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