After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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