I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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