Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I touched a dick in church today
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
