It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
