Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
it glows. i had to have it.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
