Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
