You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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