i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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