I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
