Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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