Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
