And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
