i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
