I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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