Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
