So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
