dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
