My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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