My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
