apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
