Pappa wants mamma naked
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
