i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
