last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
