Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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