Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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