well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize