Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
