Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
