Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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