you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize