absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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