Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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