so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
