I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
