Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
