It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
