You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
