Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
