I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
