I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
