drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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