her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
