No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
