So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
