She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
