I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
