We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
