It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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