This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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