Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
