READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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