you turned your livingroom into a bong?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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