Sponge bath it is.
Your dad touched me again.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
