normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
We're too hungover to prance.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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