i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
