Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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