i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
