Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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